First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
