Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
