Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
