around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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