dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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