So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
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He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
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Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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