I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
