Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize