Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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