he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
