Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
