just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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