Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
