Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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