if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
