I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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