is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
She swung at the pinata with crutches
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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