We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
