Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
