We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
