The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize