as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
