Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Semen is not good for contacts.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize