Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
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