ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
