She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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