i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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