I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize