We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
