Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Randomize
