I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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