Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
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He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize