JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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