How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
