Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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