So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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