uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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