rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?