he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.