we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
