shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
he's single and there are thong briefs.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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