I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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