Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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