You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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