she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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