When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
how does that bad decision feel?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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