MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
