If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
