Texts From Last Night

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  (210): View more from Texas

  i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.

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  (210): i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home. http://tfl.nu/eggw
  Replies (3) Good night (513) Bad night (2851)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  Adam has been drinking

  (1-810): View more from Michigan

  Who has his phone

  (810): View more from Michigan

  Adam does

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  (810): Adam has been drinking (1-810): Who has his phone (810): Adam does http://tfl.nu/tl53
  Replies (15) Good night (7683) Bad night (707)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..

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  (843): so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor.. http://tfl.nu/qi2l
  Replies (30) Good night (719) Bad night (12651)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.

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  (416): when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast. http://tfl.nu/itb7
  Replies (30) Good night (865) Bad night (11421)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'

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  (614): halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday' http://tfl.nu/p489
  Replies (62) Good night (2419) Bad night (24303)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day

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  (502): Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day http://tfl.nu/ab75
  Replies (13) Good night (969) Bad night (4760)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...

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  (+61): He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him... http://tfl.nu/efrg
  Replies (36) Good night (6035) Bad night (1249)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.

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  (251): As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you. http://tfl.nu/zyub
  Replies (33) Good night (10376) Bad night (1284)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?

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  (503): He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off? http://tfl.nu/40hd
  Replies (9) Good night (4282) Bad night (785)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap

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  (513): With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap http://tfl.nu/39t2
  Replies (7) Good night (2467) Bad night (683)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...

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  (540): So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day... http://tfl.nu/14rg
  Replies (5) Good night (1156) Bad night (454)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.

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  (410): Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark. http://tfl.nu/6rlc
  Replies (1) Good night (819) Bad night (485)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE

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  (443): Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE http://tfl.nu/kvc0
  Replies (9) Good night (1027) Bad night (307)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"

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  (216): We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence" http://tfl.nu/k55r
  Replies (0) Good night (375) Bad night (164)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.

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  (214): I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing. http://tfl.nu/945s
  Replies (14) Good night (1444) Bad night (185)

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