tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.