Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..