Texts From Last Night

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  (804): View more from Virginia

  where are you?

  (914): View more from New York

  in the room with the baby pig

  (804): View more from Virginia

  k im coming soon

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  (804): where are you? (914): in the room with the baby pig (804): k im coming soon http://tfl.nu/ccxr
  Replies (4) Good night (1486) Bad night (545)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.

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  (480): just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers. http://tfl.nu/c1gi
  Replies (4) Good night (2410) Bad night (587)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.

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  (917): Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist. http://tfl.nu/5y9j
  Replies (0) Good night (640) Bad night (1903)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  I forgot how hot balto sounded

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  (937): I forgot how hot balto sounded http://tfl.nu/4hja
  Replies (18) Good night (3636) Bad night (953)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.

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  (952): I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband. http://tfl.nu/celm
  Replies (17) Good night (1921) Bad night (3732)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?

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  (702): well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right? http://tfl.nu/0mj4
  Replies (56) Good night (1296) Bad night (13617)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka

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  (719): he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka http://tfl.nu/p67g
  Replies (13) Good night (970) Bad night (5668)
• Favorite

  (289): View more from Ontario

  Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working

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  (289): Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working http://tfl.nu/bi46
  Replies (3) Good night (1034) Bad night (3759)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.

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  (401): My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog. http://tfl.nu/x3j9
  Replies (8) Good night (3422) Bad night (899)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.

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  (610): It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock. http://tfl.nu/i24l
  Replies (22) Good night (1989) Bad night (738)
• Favorite

  (776): View more from

  My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.

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  (776): My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today. http://tfl.nu/rxf7
  Replies (0) Good night (1038) Bad night (454)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch

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  (810): if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch http://tfl.nu/vxbt
  Replies (15) Good night (2233) Bad night (534)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.

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  (515): I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes. http://tfl.nu/92xn
  Replies (14) Good night (1763) Bad night (625)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here

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  (319): Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here http://tfl.nu/2efd
  Replies (3) Good night (431) Bad night (981)
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.

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  (971): Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love. http://tfl.nu/5pup
  Replies (6) Good night (954) Bad night (412)

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