how hairy? two words: wookie tits
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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