Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
