Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
