I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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