I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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