I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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