sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
