dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
