and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
