I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
