I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
