hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
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