girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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